Saturday, August 29, 2015

I can has internet?

Whatever jackasses lived here (hi hello, I just moved) before us cut some of the cable lines for satellite and some just plain weren't hooked up. I have been going through internet withdrawal for five days while we waited for a service call. FIVE DAYS :::tries to stop trembling:::

In other news, Charlie's family has a special Santa Claus that is from his departed grandmother's Santa collection. It is kind of like Fridge Rat that my uncle and I (used to) mess around with, leaving in random places. His parents left Crusty the Santa Claus in our freezer when they helped move him in xD

He seemed actually mildly disturbed by Crusty's presence, and promptly stashed him in the laundry room, so on Monday night I left Crusty in Charlie's hallway like this for when he came home from work:

Three cheers for Christmas light miniatures! (crusty is about 10" tall)

Also, Xander and I played overhead tug of war from my recliner:

It didn't really work.

At the end of my shift last night, a  patient went unresponsive while her mother was in the room. I heard (mom) screaming and ran to help... A lot of staff ran in immediately, we called a code blue, did CPR, meds, fluids, and other troubleshooting for 30 minutes while her mother was screaming in the corner. It was my first real code (there was another back in the armpit of long term care but it was basic life support only - compressions and respirations - and I knew that patient was too far gone before we even started) and I was the record keeper. It is nigh impossible to track what interventions are being done when there are at least 10 people (the doctor, most of the nurses in the hospital, one to two respiratory therapists, and a couple of aides) in the room milling about doing respirations, circulating through compressions, hanging IVs, administering meds, comforting family, and being on standby to run for other things.

She was 34.

I stood in the parking lot and sucked down two cigarettes, then bought rum and Diet Coke and binge foods on the way home. Pip sat and watched while I soaked in a hot bath and got drunk and ate and Tumblred from my phone because I needed some kind of distraction and I had no internet to go to.

Pippin watched from behind the safety of the curtain liner.

I was already planning on taking today for some desperately needed down time, but that really solidified it. Don't worry, I'll be ok. This isn't anything I can't handle, but it IS a big deal, because human life is a big deal. We don't know why she died, but I hope we will get autopsy information.

So today is critter snuggles, comfort food, more rum (this evening), a Chet & Bernie mystery book, Netflix, and Tumblr.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

More on Feeling Wounded (and the pecking order of Tempest's workplace)

At my hospital, most of the nurses work on the unit. About 8 nurses per 12 hour shift, taking care of 2-5 patients depending on acuity (sickness/unstableness) level. Mostly 5.

On the unit there is also a nurse manager known as the House Supervisor or charge nurse. She is responsible for keeping track of what's going on in a big picture sort of way, tracking pt needs and pt changes, making sure the unit runs well.

The highest level of nurse is the Chief Nursing Officer.

The bossman over all of us is the Chief Executive Officer.

The CEO I started with resigned. The new CEO fired the CNO I started with. One of our two full time House Supervisors stepped down recently (she was being punished for something a floor nurse did while she was HS, which wasn't her fault, and is now working much more happily on the floor).

In short, there is only one person in my direct line of oversight who is the same as when I started at this hospital. I have always respected her work and her oversight. When I talked about going to weekend option (scrapped after I found out that it's EVERY Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday without incentive pay for being forced to do Fridays as well) she said she'd miss working with me, that I'm one of her favorite nurses to have on the floor. She also said in my performance review that she really trusts my assessment skills and that I've never missed a red flag indicating a patient's decline.

Wound care would be mine, permanently, if I wanted it. My HS wants me to take the position. She makes that clear on a regular basis, which gives me all kinds of warm fuzzies. The problem is that it is Monday through Friday, 8-4:30. Having only two days away from a high-stakes job sounds like absolute hell to me.

So in the meantime, I agreed to do wound care on the regular floor nurse schedule: 3x12 hour shifts. The brand-spanking-new CNO isn't thrilled that we have two nurses working 72 wound care hours when apparently our census only justifies the one nurse working 40 wound care hours, but my partner-in-crime for wound care was forced into the position and point-blank refused to do it if they tried to change her from 3x12s.

How long we stay partners-in-crim depends on how quickly they hire and train a new wound care nurse. Two current employees shadowed with, hmm, let's call my wound nursing partner Vegas*, and she (along with management) vetoed both of them.

I will be in wound care, with a predictable work schedule (WRF) for as long as it takes to find a replacement. They shoved Vegas into wound care in January, so it may be this way for a while. I really, really hope it is.

If it's an absolute perfect fit and I decide the job is worth the change in hours, I'll ask to move into the position permanently, but based on the current chaos that is my hospital, I don't really expect it will happen.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

I can has happy?

Day one on my own for wound care. Loving it already. Wish it weren't temporary. 

Monday, August 3, 2015

Petition to start a Sammy Zumba & Ben & Jerry's Day

Because Mandy did it too, and it really sounds like fun.

I am a marshmallow, but I'm on my way to being a running marshmallow, so there's that.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Ben & Jerry have redeemed themselves

That is all.

No wait, that's not all.
This is the tracing of a patient's wound for a wound vac I put on.

THAT is all. 

Monday, July 27, 2015

Siblings & Paralysis

A few posts ago was Bro's & my version of knock-down, drag-out fight. We don't do anger well in my family <sigh>. At least Bro shares my preference for straightforward communication (speaking of Vulcan, Kazehana, he's an INTJ. Most definitely the Spock of the family, to be appealed to through logic, reason, and objectivity). 

I told them not to come for Gen Con. It's a terrible idea logistically and financially. K can bring Gram down for a film festival later on (hopefully? Othello has been busy with summer teaching and completely out of touch) where being a little old lady in a wheelchair won't be so difficult to manage, there will be other nice films for her to watch, and shy won't fry her brain trying to figure out cosplayers.

Bro & Mrs are suggesting swinging by over Labor Day weekend instead. Charlie and I would be settling into our new place, so could potentially bunk them in my room and I'd sleep in my second room. BUT one of the nurses at work is having her wedding in Las Vegas that weekend, and half the hospital is going. I'm positive they'll try to coerce me into working that weekend.

I have been mostly vegetablizing during a long stretch of days off (I ran once! for seven minutes!) and am faced with the panic of tomorrow being my last free day to complete my crapton of online training for work before deadline on 7/31. Ah well, it's 9 months late already. What's another month? Besides, I legit lost a solid week of function after the contaminated needlestick debacle.

I've somehow started overlapping bingeing and bulking, so I'm chowing down on chocolate cake AND protein shakes. In a quite bizarre place mentally/behaviorally as these things go. Did I have a point to this post? Not sure. I missed the "pleasantly nappy" phase post-Benadryl tonight. It's 12:17 AM, and I am wired.

Saturday, July 25, 2015


I'm an INFJ. What are you?

You can take the test here or here.

You can read about INFJs here and here (mostly copied to this post).

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

Top ten: INFJs are the type MOST likely to be. . . 


Top Ten Words That Describe Most INFJs:

Empathetic ... Visionary ... Perfectionistic ... Value-Driven ... Conscientious ... Planful ... Private ... Reserved ... Idealistic ... Sensitive

INFJs are “idea generators” much more than they are “detail people,” and they love to discover “win-win” solutions that have a long term positive impact on people. There are two phases of most projects or meetings: 1) the initial “big picture,” “vision setting” stage; and 2) the logistics or “action items” stage. Highly intellectually curious, INFJs shine during the former, and gain much more energy from “noodling” abstract concepts and ideas than doing straightforward detail-based execution. They spend more time than most reflecting on the complex nuances or shades of grey in issues. While they are perfectionists with exceptional work ethics, INFJs report that remembering concrete details shared verbally is not a natural gift.  As a result, they tend to rely heavily on copious note taking.

Inside the mind of all INFJs is a rich, well developed inner world that they tend to keep rather private. While they enjoy socializing and highly value relationships, an INFJ’s energy is quickly drained by highly active, social environments. Their best ideas come after they’ve had time to mull over the topic in their head for a while. This “percolating” process can take a couple of days, is not always conscious, and usually leads to a solution that just “pops” into their head.

Highly emotionally intelligent, INFJs love to inspire others, help them gain a new perspective, and reach their maximum potential in life. They tend to feel things very deeply and be sensitive in every sense of the word. With a particularly low tolerance for conflict, INFJs work to avoid unnecessary tension or confrontation, and are more likely than most types to take criticism personally. INFJs tend to spend a great deal of time preparing for and then reflecting on any negative interactions, and also tend to second- guess their decisions.

“Good enough” is not typically part of the vocabulary for the INFJ. Blessed with tremendous focuswill power, and perseverance, INFJs constantly push themselves to reach any goal they have set out to achieve. Striving to avoid “winging it” or surprises, INFJs find lack of closure and future “unknowns” to be more anxiety-producing than most types. As a result, they prefer to plan way ahead, and over-prepare whenever possible. Not natural multi-taskers, INFJs tend to do best when focused exclusively on one conversation or task at a time.

Private and reserved at first, INFJs are perhaps the type that is the most difficult to judge by a first impression. Only as part of their inner circle do you really get to know the warmth, passion, insight, empathy and witty humor of an INFJ. While they can sometimes come across on the serious (and even a bit unapproachable) side at first, the more time you spend with them, the more you grow to appreciate the depth of their wisdom and insights about both people.

INFJs tend to be avid fiction readers, as this pursuit provides INFJs with much needed recharge time. They likely see themselves in many of the main characters, who are often INFJs, as fiction novel authors are commonly INFJs. To the rarest type (approximately 2% of the population), always on a quest to better understand themselves,  this is both appealing and validating!

1. Be highly ethical with exceptional integrity
2. Virtually never compromise their personal values
3. Treat each individual differently based on their needs/personality
4. Be too hard on themselves; perfectionistic
5. Seek spiritual fulfillment
6. Feel anxiety and worry about future “unknowns”
7. Find it difficult to stay focused on the present moment
8. Aim to know themselves as deeply and thoroughly as possible
9. Leave an organization based on lack of shared values
10. Take criticism to heart